Not Done Yet
by Elioclya
Summary: Martha looks back, reflecting on her relationship with the Doctor. Post S3.


Long-term relationships were never exactly a priority in Martha Jones' life. She was always too busy; studying to be a doctor, struggling to hold her family together.

But then, quite suddenly, she was given the gift of time.

And it was a wonderful gift. Terrifying at times, and downright confusing almost without exception, but utterly fantastic.

To be suddenly dropped into this world where nothing was as it seemed, where a hospital could be moved to the moon in a moment, had been exhilarating. And the fact that this was accompanied by a particularly dashing and handsome man who seemed to know everything just added to the experience.

She wondered vaguely if things would have turned out differently if his plan for saving a thousand lives hadn't included kissing her.

She rather doubted it. Although, genetic transfer or not, it had been quite a kiss.

If he hadn't offered to take her on a trip to say thank you, maybe she'd have got through unscathed, just remembered him from time to time as part of the most unusual day of her life.

But he did offer. And she said yes.

And there were many more unusual days.

And, as it turned out, she didn't only go for humans after all.

She'd had too much time in the end. A whole year, alone. Just telling people about the Doctor. The Doctor, who'd changed her life. The Doctor, who'd imprinted himself on her mind so strongly. The Doctor, who was the first person she'd ever felt this way about. The Doctor, who couldn't feel the same way.

She was fairly sure that any psychologist would have advised her in no uncertain terms that in a situation of unrequited love, babbling on about how wonderful the object of that love was not a good idea. But she couldn't stop; she had to keep going, spreading the word about the Doctor, and in order to do that, she had to really believe what she was saying. When she was travelling alone, she had to remind herself of all the wonderful things he'd done, just to keep her going. Because they had to understand that she meant every word.

By the end of her travels, she'd become something she almost didn't recognise, wearing impenetrable armour to get her through it. Her independent streak had more than proved itself, but underneath the shell, she longed to be able to rely on someone again. Like she'd relied on the Doctor. But she couldn't. It was up to her.

And as the year had gone on, she'd become a bit of a legend, and because of that nobody seemed to treat her like a normal person. Tom Milligan was a bit different. She could see he admired her, but he actually worked with her, not just for her, and for a little while, they were a team. And that little sliver of true human contact reinforced her determination to finish what she'd started. Because if she didn't there'd be nobody left.

It wasn't until they were back on Earth that she finally had time to think.

It took her a while to realise that she had to get out.

She didn't want to. She wanted to stay and enjoy the exciting whirlwind of adventures that always seemed to follow the Doctor. She wanted to see the world. She wanted to see so much more of time and space. But she also wanted him.

And if she couldn't have him, it just wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth the times he seemed to forget she was there; it wasn't worth the way he seemed to look through her; it wasn't worth the lack of appreciation. Because she was good. And she deserved to be told once in a while.

Her family needed her. That hadn't been a lie. There was definitely going to be some serious fallout with Annalise considering the latest developments in her parents' relationship. But what she didn't say to the Doctor was that she needed them too. She'd had a year of loneliness, and travelling with someone who didn't feel the same way about her as she did about him definitely wasn't going to fix that.

It wasn't like she had to give up the excitement completely; Jack had given her an open invitation to join him at Torchwood if she wanted. She felt that she would. Not just yet. But maybe soon. Maybe when she'd finished her degree. It would be good to get to know him a bit better, this charming, near-immortal man.

The Doctor had her phone. And when she was ready, she'd call. She had every intention of seeing much, much more of the universe.

Martha Jones wasn't done with saving the world. 


End file.
